I win
by Duckscrossingtheroad
Summary: *Infinity War spoilers* Tony and Nebula make the journey back to earth, awkward heart-to-hearts ensue. Rated T for language because half the universe getting wiped from existence is as good a time as any to swear.
1. Chapter 1 I win

The human was oddly silent. Thank- well, not god, she's never going to thank a god again, but well, thank whoever. She'd initially planned to let the human die, she knew that while the white gooey substance was blocking the external flow of blood, it was doing nothing to stop the internal damage caused by her father. It would be very easy to let the human- what was the phase? Pass away. But she'd also heard what the Wizard had said, keeping this terran (apparently, they preferred the term 'human') alive was the only way, and if there was even a slight chance that this 'human' could help her defeat Thanos and avenge her sister, she would take it.

So, she'd gotten him onto the ship, dragging him along as gently as she could because there was no way in hell she would ever carry a being from Terra. She'd placed him on one of the beds on board – again not carrying him – thinking that it might encourage the human to sleep, or at the very least be quiet and not die. She'd even managed to get him out of his ridiculous metal suit by pressing a strange button, which of course had revealed the extent of the red lines decorating his body, hundreds of blotchy red spider webs beginning to stain the otherwise black clothing.

She had done her best with the limited medical supplies on board, applying pressure where it was needed, tying several bandages, dabbing cream at the countless angry red lines. She could almost see Gamora smiling proudly.

She'd even given the human some pills, not because she cared about this humans' misery of course, but because he kept moaning and she simply wanted him to Shut. The fuck. Up.

And it worked. For 20 minutes. The first hour of their journey had been quiet, which Nebula had subsequently realised was due to shock. The human being the one in shock of course, not her. Then the blood loss kicked in and that combined with the shock meant that the human started talking and moaning and refused to stop. She also vaguely remembered something about humans not liking silences, although she had never found out the reason for such preposterousness.

One hour and 20 minutes of silence in a journey that had so far been four hours and would be at least another three before they got to Earth. Between countless ramblings of a spider who he seemed especially fond of, a shield, and a weirdly complicated winter, Nebula had finally decided that she'd heard quite enough from this creature who called himself "Tony" and thus had gone in search of anything that would give her some much needed quiet. Hence, the pills. She had also found some duct tape but decided against it. Gamora definitely would've been proud.

20 minutes of silence had gone by and Nebula almost smiled. Almost.

"My dad," the human slurred deliriously, "He was a jerk."

Nebula smirked. That was one thing she could relate to.

"But you know what?" The weirdly talkative creature's distant brown eyes stared right through her. She wasn't sure if he was even fully aware of her presence. "I loved him anyway."

"Lucky you," Nebula whispered.

"What, you don't want to talk about daddy issues?"

"Nope."

"Ah come on! It's important to talk these things through, you know. You see, my dad was the biggest jerk, he was – "

Nebula sighed. "Not that I care about your human problems, but believe me, if there was a competition on who has the worst father-related issues, I would win."

"Oh yeah? Well, let's see. I hated my father. For a long time. In fact, I kind of still do," the human chuckled joylessly. "He was obsessed with his soldier and his stupid shield. Never paid any attention to me, his son. It was only after he was killed, by my friends' brain-washed best friend no less, that I realised I didn't just hate him. I loved him, too." Apparently, it was very important that she knew he loved his father. He glanced at her, "I think I win."

The blue lady sighed. "I had Thanos as a father." The human went quiet, having apparently forgotten this fact in his blood loss/drug-induced delirium.

She was going to leave it at that, she certainly didn't owe this human an explanation, but she found herself continuing. "He destroyed my world, slaughtered half of the entire population of my people, and did the same thing with my sister, Gamora. He took us in and he raised us, destroying the children we once were. He tortured us, routinely pitted us against each other. He tried to kill both of us more than once, all in the name of "making us stronger."" Nebula laughed. "As if such actions could ever be justified.

"And just in the last few hours, he tortured me, literally tore my insides apart, to get to my sister, who he then murdered in order to get his precious stone. Which he then used to destroy half the universe." The human was quiet for a couple of moments.

"Wow…okay, you win."

Nebula simply looked ahead, her eyes not quite able to hide the sadness that plagued her. "I win," she said quietly.

"But I'm serious though, fathers are _complicated,_ you know? Howard was a _dick_ , he was always distant-"

"I know what you're trying to do," Nebula interrupted, sighing as she did so. "Ignoring the pain, attempting to focus on irrelevant things that honestly don't matter anymore – "

"Hey, my father issues matter heaps, okay?"

Nebula continued like she hadn't heard him. "'It's a technique I myself have tried dozens of times. But it won't make the pain you feel hurt any less and it definitely won't make the pain go away, believe me," she advised, slowly turning to look at the human she'd been stuck with for the past several hours. His eyes changed with her words, they were still glazed over but a new pain that had not quite been visible before was now starkly clear. She recognised it all too well, it had been staring back at her through window panes and cracked mirrors for the past few hours.

"I should've died," the increasingly irksome human stated. Nebula was tempted to agree with him, but she sensed that now was not the time for such comments.

"And why is that?"

"Should've been me. The kid shouldn't have even been there. He was supposed to – "

"It would've happened anyway," Nebula interrupted.

"What?"

Nebula sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. "Even if your adolescent hadn't been _there_ , Thanos still would have got the stones, he still would have destroyed half the universe, and your kid as you call him would still have died," Nebula said, sensing her anger that had been brimming just below the surface starting to join the overwhelming sadness that she felt.

There was a brief pause.

"This situation is so fucking shit." Finally, something they could agree on. She had thought previous situations had been shit, the time Gamora had sworn that she would kill her if she ever saw her again although of course she hadn't meant it, the time Thanos had literally stabbed her in the back while simultaneously yelling at her for daring to feel pain, the most recent time when Thanos had literally torn her heart apart and left her waiting in agony for hours (and of course he had never actually come back for her). All those times she'd felt like she was alone in the universe with no one who loved her. But of course, she'd never really been alone. Until now.

She was angry, _so_ incredibly angry, at her father who had never been a father to her, who had the nerve to grieve over her sister whom he murdered, as if he hadn't had a choice. She was angry at the universe for allowing such a being to exist in the first place, and then allowing said being to destroy half of it (granted her knowledge of the infinity stones wasn't perfect but she knew how Vormir worked, a soul for a soul, someone you love, etc. She also knew that Gamora would never have sacrificed herself willingly, so how the fuck could the universe consider that love? Claiming you love someone and then tossing them over a cliff against their will and that apparently counts as love? What the fuck, universe).

She was angry at this human for being as irritating as he was, in that way he reminded her of Gamora, despite how different the two of them were. She was even angry at Gamora herself for choosing to save her, even though she had no way of knowing that Nebula was not the one who needed to be saved.

But mostly, she was angry at herself; for not knowing better, for not succeeding in killing Thanos when she had the chance, for wasting so many years hating her sister who had always loved her. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was angry at herself for being jealous of Gamora, as fucked up as she knew that was, jealous that their father even cared enough to kill her sister personally, while leaving her own life up to chance.

She was angry, so fucking angry. _A waste of parts_ , he'd called her. She was going to be the most powerful, most expensive fucking waste of parts in the universe. She was going to kill him. Oh yes, she would kill him if it was the last thing she did.

"You and me both," she heard a low voice chime in. Crap, she had not meant to say all that aloud. Why was the human still talking anyway? They were notoriously fragile creatures, both physically and mentally, surely this human should have fallen asleep by now?

"Maaaannn, that was beautiful! Quite a speech you gave, I especially liked the part where the universe is kind of an asshole, I completely agree! And the part where–"

"You know, I personally hate most of the phrases you creatures have come up with but there's one that I have taken a special liking to."

"Which is?" The man asked drowsily, his eyelids closing, his energy finally dissipating.

"Fuck off." She could almost hear Gamora chastising her, urging her to be nice, to go easy on the human. But Gamora wasn't there.

Several surprisingly uncomfortably quiet minutes passed, the silence hanging above her like a noose. She glanced back at the human, thinking that maybe she should, not apologise but maybe, just maybe offer a word of comfort – only to find that he had passed out. Typical.

/Line break/

Two hours and 55 minutes later, Nebula found herself softly whispering, coaxing her companion who now mysteriously had a blanket draped over him, back to consciousness. She had not coaxed anyone since, since…she could barely remember the last time she'd partaken in such an activity.

"Hey, hey wake up," Nebula whispered gently. The human did not wake. "You need to wake up, we're here now." Nebula whispered a little louder, shaking him a little. Still he would not wake. "What is it-Tony? Tony, you need to wake up, you're home."

The eyes finally opened. "We're home?" He asked, groggily.

She paused.

"You are, yes." Her voice only slightly shook.

 **A/N This movie gave me feelings so I decided to write about them. Also, Nebula is really fun to write.**


	2. Chapter 2 A beautiful knife

"Tony!"

"Tony!"

"Is he okay?"

"What happened?"

"Will he be okay?"

A blond man with haunted eyes, a man with darkened hair that was greying. A blonde lady whose face was spotted with blue droplets that Nebula recognised being from her father's "children", a man with a small amount of dark hair wearing a suit whose design suspiciously resembled Tony's. A man with dark blond hair and an eye that wasn't quite right, a young woman with beautiful dark braids.

Upon their ship landing, a group of what Nebula assumed were Tony's team mates greeted them. A million voices yelled around her, a million questions being thrown around, but Nebula was unable to answer any of them.

"We had a run-in with Thanos, he needs proper medical attention," she said curtly, supporting her companion down the ship's ramp and easing him onto a stretcher which was then brisked away. Nebula wondered if, _when_ they would meet again.

"Hey! Hey you!" She turned to see a hairy little creature that she couldn't quite remember the name of walking up to her. "Where's everyone else? Quill? Gamora? Drax?" Nebula shook her head, wincing slightly at the mention of her sister. She immediately felt annoyed with herself, her sister's name was not a dirty word, why would she flinch at it?

"None of them made it?"

She shook her head again, suddenly feeling her own sadness threatening to overwhelm her. She immediately quashed it down, and instead watched the creature's eyes fill with tears. "No," he said quietly. Then he punched the ground. "No no no!" the creature howled.

Sensing that the creature – she now remembered his name was Rocket – was best left alone, Nebula took stock of her surroundings for the first time. Green hills littered with the remnants of battle surrounded her, sweeping open plains that had presumably once been filled with wildlife were now decorated with parts, weapons, and blood, so much blood. It was tragically still beautiful.

"Hey, we need to get inside," a voice said from behind her. Nebula turned to see the blond man who was wearing a ridiculous blue suit standing a couple of metres behind her. "Those children of Thanos creatures are still roaming about. We need to regroup, when you're ready." On another day, Nebula would've told this man to fuck off. But on another day, she wouldn't have saved an irritating stranger, on another day she wouldn't be seeking to avenge her sister, on another day she wouldn't let a human tell her what to do.

This day was not like other days.

/Line Break/

They were inside what Nebula had learned was Wakanda's central building. Normally surrounded by defences that would have impressed even her, they were currently sitting ducks, although even her father's so-called children seemed to recognise that this battle was over. Everything around them seemed to have gone still.

They were currently in some sort of lounge, with some of them sprawled, exhausted, on a couch, while others preferred to stand. The dull hum of the medical centre at work below them permeated the exhausted silence that lay around them.

"Alright, so whose whereabouts are unknown?" the blond man wearing a ridiculous blue suit asked finally, rousing them.

"I've managed to get in contact with Clint, he's alive but unwilling to leave what's left of his family. Nothing from Scott," Natasha replied. "Have you heard from Sharon?"

"She's safe," he said, a ghost of a smile almost appearing on his lips.

"Has anyone heard from Pepper?" a soft voice asked from the hallway. Nebula turned to see Tony standing in the doorway, tilting slightly to the left but otherwise walking unaccompanied. Nebula knew the medical team had confined him to bed rest for at least two days, but decided to keep that information to herself.

"Tony, you're up!" a man that Nebula had heard be referred to as 'Rhodey' exclaimed, walking up and clapping Tony on the back.

"Miss me, Rhode?" Tony grinned. It was the first time Nebula had seen him smile.

The blond man had paused, seemingly startled, before nodding, "She's safe, Tony," he said reassuringly. "She's at the tower, offered to come here but I said it's probably safer where she is."

Tony's shoulders noticeably relaxed. "That was a good call."

Nebula watched him glance around the room, presumably taking note of everyone there.

"Okay so let's do a headcount, we have: me," Tony said, pointing to his chest. Nebula rolled her eyes. "You," he said, pinching Rhodey's shoulder. "You," he said, pointing at the blond man whom Nebula had learned was Thor, the God of Thunder. She had heard he had a legendary hammer, but she couldn't see any such object in sight. He was holding a suspicious looking axe, however. "Nat, Hulk, or maybe not Hulk at the moment, we need to get that sorted out, Bruce." More rolling of the eyes. "Her," he said, pointing at a lady with dark braids.

"My name is Shuri, I am T'Challa's sister," she said quietly but confidently, stepping forward.

"We have Shuri," Tony smiled at her. "You," he gestured to Nebula. It suddenly dawned on her that Tony didn't know her name. "You," he said, looking at the raccoon.

"The name's Rocket, just so you all know."

"And him," Tony said, gesturing to the other blond man with the horrible suit.

"Steve," the man said, nodding at Nebula and Rocket.

"I hate to ask, but who do we know of that did not live?" the God of Thunder asked.

"T'Challa," Shuri said sadly. "Okoye saw it happen."

"I'm sorry," the man in the horrible suit said.

"Thank you."

"Quill, Gamora, Drax, Mantis."

"Peter, or Spiderman," Tony said quietly. "Also, the wizard guy, referred to himself as Doctor Strange."

"My brother, Loki," Thor said quietly. Nebula frowned. She knew this name, her father had mentioned a Loki once or twice.

"Wanda and Vision," Nat said in a voice just above a whisper.

"Damn it," Tony muttered.

"Hey, what about that metal arm guy?" Rocket asked.

Steve sighed, closing his eyes. "He's dead. So is Sam."

Silence descended upon them once again. The brief motivation that had momentarily graced them faded away. All momentum was lost, as if once they stopped talking they would never be able to start again, being now faced with the reality that so many dear friends were gone. Even Nebula, who obviously did not care about these humans' issues, felt a deep sadness in her chest. Her sister was dead. Her sister's friends were dead. Half of life in the universe was dead, and her father had all six infinity stones.

Fuck.

/Line break/

Silently, one by one they had all left, to where Nebula didn't know. Now it was only her, left alone with her thoughts.

My sister is dead.

My sister.

Is dead.

He won.

He…damn it, Thanos won. Nebula punched the bench-top she was leaning on. Throughout her life, she had often wondered if she was capable of crying. She hadn't been able to when she was younger, she would get upset sure, but she'd never been able to produce tears, and as she'd gotten older and Thanos had gotten crueller, the urge to produce visible signs of discomfort had significantly lessened.

She was a patchwork body, made up of stray parts that had been stitched together. Not alive enough to truly be alive. But not dead, either. Not robotic enough to be a robot. She was just…her, Nebula, waste of parts and (future) destroyer of Thanos.

And a sister.

Or was she? Was she still a sister, even when _her_ sister, the person whose very existence classified her as a sister, was dead? Or was being 'a sister' a temporary label?

It turns out, she could cry after all.

/Line break/

She wasn't sure how long she remained there, standing above the wooden bench that was now stained with teardrops. Distantly, she could hear a screeching voice accompanied with instruments. These humans really don't like silence.

 _There's nothing you can do that can't be done_

 _Nothing you can sing that can't be sung_

Aside from its lyrics pointing out the glaring obvious, the song was rather catchy, even to Nebula. What was the word? It had good drums? Time? Beat? Yes, that was it, it had a good beat. Nebula sighed, reminiscing that Gamora had always been the musical one. Perhaps that was why her and Quill had gotten on so well.

 _It's easy_

 _All you need is love_

What? That's not true.

 _All you need is love_

Fuck love.

Nebula marched down the hallway towards what she vaguely remembered was called 'the living area', located the offending device that was playing such monstrosity, and promptly threw her knife at it, silencing the damned thing once and for all.

"Hey! What was that for?" Tony glared at her.

"That song was untruthful," Nebula responded.

"Well if you don't like the song, all you had to do was ask to change it. You didn't need to destroy the whole damned thing." The angry man who had trouble turning green (Tony's words, not hers) said irritably. Nebula marched forward and pulled her knife out of the wrecked- what was it? A disc player? A speaker? She couldn't even tell given the damage it had sustained. Good riddance, her knife was worth at least ten times more than that piece of junk. It was a beautiful knife actually, it's edge elegantly serrated, it's chocolate brown handle worn smooth with use.

"I'm sure you'll survive," Nebula said calmly.

"That's not the point! You can't just wreck other people's stuff-" Tony started.

"Oh please, you're rich, aren't you? You can just buy another one," Nebula snapped. She vaguely realised that maybe she had, well, reacted a little too strongly. Taking a deep breath, she said, "If you never play that damned song again, then I won't destroy any more of your…toys." She began walking out the door.

"Hey! We're not finished! Come ba-"

"Leave her, Tony," Steve said calmly.

"Why? She can't just go around destroying the furniture. It's not even mine and the person who's it was, is probably dead. She needs to respect-"

Steve sighed. "I get that, but we have bigger issues to worry about at the moment."

"Like what?"

"Like finding out who's missing."

"Well currently Scott's whereabouts are still unknown. Haven't heard from Fury, anyone heard anything?" Nat asked. Nebula was currently standing in the doorway, torn between her desire to get the hell away from these people, and her desire to undo this shithole of a situation (a desire which might have a chance of being fulfilled if she stayed and listened to these bickering creatures).

"Hold on, I'm checking now," Shuri spoke up, holding some sort of electronic pad.

"He appears to have turned to dust as well, so too has an Agent Hill? I'm assuming she's someone of importance?" The lady who Nebula assumed was Okoye said, reading over Shuri's shoulder.

"Yes, she is. Or was," Steve responded dejectedly.

"He did, however, manage to send out a distress signal, to a Carol Danvers, goes by the codename Captain Marvel? Does anyone know who that is?"

Captain Marvel? What kind of name was that? Nebula saw that everyone was shaking their head except Nat, who furrowed her brow sceptically.

"I've heard of her. She was around in the 90's, pretty amazing what she could do but she hasn't been seen in years. She's presumed dead."

"What kind of amazing exactly?" Steve asked.

"Being able to fly around without a suit, stronger than you, kind of amazing."

"We could really use her help."

"And she's probably dead. Even if she wasn't dead before and just decided to live as a hermit, there's a 50/50 chance she was killed in the rip," Tony piped up. Steve glared at him. "What? Don't look at me like that, we all know that's the most likely scenario, especially given our luck. Face it, this is it. We have basically next to no chance of undoing this." Nebula honestly agreed with him, which she hated. The man on the ship-ride here had possessed a child-like enthusiasm, a sense of faith that somehow things would turn out okay.

Perhaps that man was still there somewhere in the person standing before her, but Nebula couldn't see him.

They were either doomed to live out the rest of their (most-likely short) lives in this shithole of a world or die trying to change it.

"This is it," Tony repeated softly.

Despite her own despair, Nebula felt a familiar rage spark within her. "No, you know what? Fuck it, I'm not going to sit by and just pathetically accept this shitshow."

"What can we do? It's over, they're dead. There's nothing we can do."

Nebula sighed. "If we can get the time stone, we might have a chance."

"Even if we could somehow get the stone from your daddy dearest, none of us know how to wield it. Doctor Strange could and he's dead."

The Hulk man (he didn't look like much of a Hulk to Nebula) spoke up. "Yeah, but what about that other wizard guy? Wong, wasn't it? Maybe he knows a thing or two."

"If he wasn't killed in the rip," Thor pointed out.

"Well given our luck, he probably was. Everyone was killed in the rip."

"Loki wasn't."

"Neither was Gamora."

"She wasn't?" Rocket spoke up. "Then how-"

"Thanos murdered her to get the soul stone."

"Father of the year," Tony muttered.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Rocket said quietly.

"Yeah well…if we can get the time stone then you won't need to be sorry."

"Why do we need the time stone specifically? If we can get the reality stone then we can just change reality to however we want, right?" Rocket asked.

"Because if Thanos still has the time stone, then he can just go back in time and make sure we never get the reality stone in the first place. We might end up needing the reality stone, maybe we'll need all those damned stones. All I know is that we will definitely need the time stone," Nebula explained.

"We'll have to get his gauntlet then. Once that's off, we might have a chance. Although we have no idea where the bastard is. Speaking of which…" Rocket continued talking but the sound seemed to fade away. She just felt so tired. She didn't want to give up, she wouldn't, but man she was tired. That brief burst of rage-fuelled energy had worn off as quickly as it had come.

Nothing had truly been shit before now and yet everything had been so shit for so long. Why would things change now? There was no reason to believe that Lady Luck would suddenly act in her favour.

Nebula silently walked out the door and this time continued walking.

/Line break/

After several turns, she found herself in an empty room with large windows overlooking what was left of Wakanda. Several chairs were scattered around half-assedly, but Nebula sat on the floor, staring out at the view before her. She heard a pair of footsteps approaching but did not get up.

"Hey, I'm sorry to disturb you."

Then why are you here?

"I'm Steve, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Nebula," she said, the word sounding oddly foreign to her ears, as she realised that was a word she hadn't said aloud in a long time. In her experience, asking for her name was not something people often did.

"That's a beautiful name," the man said. Nebula felt anger rising within her, urging her to lash out at the oddly kind human. But she also remembered advice she'd been told not so long ago, that apparently, she had a tendency to lash out whenever she felt uncomfortable or vulnerable. Gamora knew her well.

"Thank you."

The man sat down beside her. "This 'Gamora' that Rocket was talking about, she was your sister?"

"Yes," Nebula said, not quite sure why she was even answering him. She wasn't exactly a fan of humans, but somehow it felt wrong to not talk about her sister when given the chance. "We were both adopted by Thanos when we were children."

"You have my condolences."

Nebula almost chuckled. "She was his favourite. Not that it did her any good in the end, but…she loved us both, despite everything." Crap, had she just admitted that she and Thanos had something in common? No, no of course not.

"She'd be proud of you."

"Oh really?" Nebula said, her voice low despite the rage that fuelled within. Typical human, thinking he knew everything. He knew nothing, _nothing_ about her relationship with Gamora.

"I'm a killer, and I'm not sorry for it. I'm going to kill our father and it's not because he killed my sister or half the freaking universe, it's because I fucking hate him." She paused, trying to keep her emotions under control. She wasn't even sure whether her words were true or not, in that moment all she knew was the rage that was always simmering just beneath the surface. She couldn't share the same universe that he lived in any longer, she felt like she couldn't even _breathe_ knowing he does.

"You lot may think I'm doing this to avenge Gamora, that is what you do isn't it?" Nebula sneered. "Well I'm not. I'm doing this for me and only me, so don't think you know a single thing about me or my sister because you don't."

The human was quiet for several moments.

"I'm sorry, I know I don't know much about you or your sister," the human said carefully, quietly, as if afraid she would snap his neck if he raised his voice too loud. Which she probably would.

"But I meant that she would've been proud of you, for what you did for Tony."

Oh.

"You saved him when you didn't have to, which we are all incredibly thankful for, by the way. Doing that, it…yes, you may be a killer, you may have done terrible things in the past, but there's more to you than that."

This human seemed so sure of himself, so sure of his belief in her despite not even knowing her. How could anyone believe in a coldblooded killer?

"I never had the pleasure of meeting Gamora but from the sounds of it, she believed in you even when you didn't. I think she would've been proud."

Nebula decided then and there that this human was pissing her off. Not because he was wrong, he was annoyingly accurate in his observations. Damn him.

 **A/N Of the three chapters (this story is going to be three chapters, by the way), I had the most trouble with this chapter (I'd written all this dialogue and all these interactions that I wanted to happen, but I wasn't sure how to connect it all together). Anyways, I hope it turned out okay. Chapter three is mostly written and should be up in the next week or so. Also, the song mentioned is 'All You Need Is Love' by The Beatles (which I have nothing against, by the way. I just felt like Nebula wouldn't take too kindly to its message considering what happened to Gamora).**

 **Until next time,**


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